


F61.1

by meggygurl



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Gay Bashing, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5221181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggygurl/pseuds/meggygurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Schizoid Personality Disorder (ICD-10 F61.1)<br/>A. A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:</p>
            </blockquote>





	F61.1

**Author's Note:**

> Me and a coworker spent some time figuring out which "Axis II personality disorder" Shaw would have. We narrowed it down to Schizoid PD and I wanted to write something showing that. She only meets 4 of the possible criteria, so those are the ones I focused on. 
> 
> I work in mental health, so I really tried to be respectful of that population. If anything is offensive in anyway, please let me know.

Schizoid Personality Disorder (ICD-10 F61.1)  
A. A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expression of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

A1. Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family.

When Sameen turned 18 she left home with a full scholarship and her eyes on the prize of pre-med. She gave her mother one awkward hug goodbye (the first hug they had shared since she was nearly 10), got into her beat up 1983 truck, and drove to college alone. She called once a month like clockwork, having the same conversation with her mom every time. How were things at home? How was work? School is fine, I’m getting As in everything. Her mom, who spent years trying to understand why her daughter always looked at her with a blank expression, knew better than to ask about friends or a lover. Sameen only came home that first summer, finding that the dance they had fallen into was too hard to maintain in such close quarters. The next year Sameen rented an apartment and never came home for more than a few days at a time. 

Her mother attended her graduation from college, med school, and years later, her graduation from basic training in the Marines. Sameen was sent overseas and she never called her mom again. 

But every month, Sameen would deposit money into her mother’s bank account. She didn’t need much with the way she lived, honestly. So she made sure it went to good use. Her mother never commented on it or questioned it really, she just assumed it was Sameen’s way of dealing with cutting her out of her life for good. Until in the summer of 2014 suddenly the money stopped showing up in her account, and starting showing up in an envelope in the mail. No return address, always from different states, the handwriting addressing it clearly her daughter’s.

A few months later, it skipped a month. For the first time in roughly 10 years, no money came. The following month, twice the normal amount came in an envelope and the handwriting was neat, perky, and clearly not Sameen’s. It resumed again normally after that, the same perky handwriting addressing her.

Sameen’s mother wondered if something terrible happened to her daughter.

She wondered if she was sad or relieved. 

A2. Almost always chooses solitary activities. 

Four separate times, Sameen was called into her Sergeant’s office to talk about her “lack of bonding” with her fellow Privates. Sameen always turned down their offers to go drinking or out to eat or to catch a movie. In fact, the only thing Sameen seemed willing to do with her fellow Privates was go to the shooting range. Where she promptly out shot every man and woman at her rank and four ranks above her. And even then, she didn’t really socialize with any of them. She explained to her Sergeant three times she didn’t need to go drinking with them to be a good solider, in fact she thought she was a better one if she didn’t. 

The fourth time, Sameen, gritting her teeth with the one emotion she knew pretty well, she told her Sergeant she would try harder. Because she knew what was coming next, she was going to get kicked out, just like she did her residency. And she was too good at this, too good a shot and too good a soldier. So she bit her boredom and general dislike for other people down and committed herself to just enough after hours drinking whiskey to make everyone think she was playing nice.

Well. Mostly nice.

“God Sameen, do you do anything like a girl?”  
“Yeah, I hit like one pretty well. Let me show you.”

A6. Appears indifferent to the praise and criticism of others. 

The locker room when dead silent when Sameen entered, all eyes turning to look at her. Most teens would have been embarrassed, would have blushed at the furious whispering that followed the silence. But Sameen didn’t even blink as she headed to her locker, spinning the combination. 

“Lesbo.”

“Dyke.”

“Did you hear, she was making out with Florence Silva at Jason’s party last weekend? Like, with tongue.”

“Disgusting.” 

“Oh god, what if she tries to look at us when we’re changing. I don’t want her in this locker room.”

Sameen pulled her clothes out of the locker, ignoring all the chatter going on around her as she changed. She didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Florence was a good kisser, so what if she was a girl? Everyone made such a big deal out of nothing, it was stupid. She didn’t care if they thought she was gross, it just meant they would avoid her. And if they feared her? All the better.

Besides, today was dodgeball day.

“Hey, carpet muncher.” One of the more popular girls, Janet, got in Sameen’s face, trying to look intimidating. It didn’t work.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want that? Cause, I heard your boyfriend refused to go downtown on you. You must be real frustrated by all those blow jobs you give him for nothing in return.” Sameen dropped to her knees in front of the other girl, looking up. “Come on, I don’t have all day.”

There was a loud scream and a flurry of girls ran from the locker room, leaving Sameen alone, on her knees. 

Walking home from school that evening, Janet’s boyfriend and some of his lug head friends caught Sameen and beat her till she was coughing up blood.

The next day, Sameen signed up for boxing lessons.

A7. Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity.

“Has she even cried?” Whispered one of Sameen’s aunts to the other one. They were sending glances her way, doing that thing adults do where they talk about kids right in front of them as though they couldn’t tell. Or when think they can’t hear. Which, given the headphones connected to a Discman Sameen was wearing, was not completely unreasonable. But Sameen had learned a trick years ago: she would bop her head to a vague beat and unfocus her eyes and everyone would assume she was absorbed in music and not listening to boring adult talk.

Sameen didn’t find adult talk boring. She wanted to know which cousin had just gotten their third DUI and which uncle was cheating with the nanny and who had a drug problem. It wasn’t that Sameen specifically cared about any of that stuff, she just wanted to make sure she knew everyone’s weakness. So could use it. Like when her cousin put gum in her hair she just happen to make sure she rubbed her hands all over the stray cats that hung around so she could rub it on his face. He swelled up like a balloon. Sameen laughed for five minutes.

“I don’t think that child has ever cried. I heard when they pulled her from the car, she didn’t even look sad. I bet she caused the wreck.”

There was no acknowledgment on Sameen’s face that she heard anything her aunts were saying about her, but she felt something curl in her stomach. They thought she killed her father? What benefit would killing her father serve her? He was the one who brought in the most money and he made a better Bademjan than her mother. Just because she wasn’t a baby and didn’t cry, didn’t mean she didn’t miss him. She did, inside her stomach where she felt the burn of anger. It just never made its way up to her skin, like most other emotions didn’t. 

Two weeks later, Sameen got sick at school and her aunt picked her up since her mom was working a double and couldn’t get off. Sameen was just listening to a lecture about ruining her Wednesday afternoon step aerobics when they walked into her aunt’s house, finding her uncle and his assistant naked on the couch.

Sameen’s face didn’t change but she felt something warm spread in her stomach.


End file.
